Taking a Right at Albuquerque

My life now seems to go in a continuous cycle.  Not in a bad way, like a merry-go-round that never stops.  It’s now like I’m on a road with two paths in front of me and a map of where I’ve been.  I keep looking at the map for clues to where I should be going.  I took a proverbial left at Albuquerque, and that’s how I ended up here.  What if next time I take a right?

I’m speaking of course about the “mess” that is my co-parenting relationship.

I had an e-mail exchange last week that I was preparing to write to you all about.  As I read over what I’d written, I had a bit of a revelation.  As much as I’d like to blame the Goblin King for all of my problems, part of the issue was that I wasn’t listening.  I was reacting.

It’s a very difficult thing to recognize in the heat of the moment.  When your temper is flaring and he’s “doing it again”, it’s hard to stop, take a breath, and realize what’s going on.  It’s much easier to point in his direction and lay blame.

In this case, I was writing to you all to tell you that I was asking questions about Puck’s health and he wasn’t giving me answers.  But as I reread his responses, I realized that some of the answers were actually there.  They were buried, they weren’t straightforward, but they were there.  I was so intent on proving that he was not communicating, and I didn’t hear them.  The very same issue that I regularly suggest he suffers from.

How can I expect him to change his behavior if I don’t recognize it in myself?

I’ve decided to take a step back from my communications from now on.  I will ask the questions and accept his answers, even if they’re not what I expect.  As long as the children aren’t in danger, I need to stop expecting him to communicate the way I think he should, and let him communicate the way he does.

The road map I have shows a series of left turns that just lead me back to where I was.  I need to turn right and see if this new road will lead me to where I want to go.

Image Credit:  (Edited) phanlop88

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