Divorce is never easy. You’re talking about some very strong emotions. You might be the leaver—you might be the person who was left. Whether you had to make the decision or had the decision made for you—it’s a very difficult time. You suddenly have to come to terms with the fact that your marriage, as it was, no longer exists.
As much mocking was made of Gwynneth Paltrow and Chris Martin and their decision to “consciously uncouple”, there is some sense in taking the sting out of the process. But you can get through it with your integrity and self-respect in tact.
I thought as a follow-up, I’d let you know where you can go to find some good advice. Clearly, I’m a big fan of DivorcedMoms.com (and you’ve already been there), but you can also get fantastic advice from:
- Gail Vaz-Oxalade from The Common Sense Divorce
- Wendi Schueller from The Global Guide to Divorce
- Mandy Walker at Since my Divorce
- Vanessa at The Next Chapter
- Jeannine Lee at Beyond Divorce
- Lisa Thompson from A Girls Guide to Leaving a Marriage
- Lisa Arends at Lessons from the End of A Marriage
- Terry Gaspard at Moving Past Divorce
- Deesha Philylaw at Co-Parenting 101
- Honorée Corder, The Successful Single Mom
- Tara Eisenhard, Divorce Encouragist
- Deborah Moskovich from The Smart Divorce
I do realize that most (if not all) of these resources are written for women. But I would argue that the advice that these women provide is just as important for men. Some of these ladies have moved on from their own divorce to become counsellors and wellness coaches. They’ve written books. They contribute regularly to HuffPost Divorce and DivorcedMoms and other divorce sites. All with an aim of helping people to manage their divorce and get through the other side in one piece. And they’re all very down to earth and “available” on social media.
I’m also a huge fan of the ReapeRickett Law Firm’s Divorce Digest. I can’t say I’ve come across a ton of lawyer blogs I read regularly—but I really enjoy Jim Reape’s ongoing dialogue about simplifying divorce. If you haven’t seen his interview about the “Divorce Hotel”, you should.
If you’re just starting – or even in the middle of the process, keep in mind—you need to come out of your divorce being able to look yourself in the mirror. Not just for your sake—but for your children’s as well. Seek good advice. And take it.
This post originally appeared on Live by Surprise in July, 2014. It has been updated.