I Am NOT a Survivor 2

I Am NOT a Survivor

I am not a survivor. Not in the sense that I’m not still among the living.  I just hate that word. Survivor.   Sounds like I was up against something completely insurmountable that most people never make it through. That I’ve been victimized. I am not a victim. The word “survivor” also comes with an implication Read More

I Got in Trouble...There's a Homework Note

I Got in Trouble…There’s a Homework Note

Last week when I picked up Puck and Flower from school, Puck looked anxious. I asked them what they’d done at school and Puck burst into tears. “I got in trouble. There’s a homework note.” The week prior he’d had a test he was supposed to bring home for signature. He “forgot” to bring it Read More

Couple Who Never Wanted Children Makes Shocking Announcement

Newlyweds, Children and Reproductive Privacy

When I was first married at 21, every party – wedding, shower – even funeral, I was always asked the same question: When are you guys going to have children? It seems like people think that when you get married you give up all rights to keep your reproductive activities private.  What was your most creative Read More

Co-Parenting and Clothing Exchanges - A How NOT to Guide

Co-Parenting and Clothing Exchanges – A How NOT to Guide

Ugggghhh!!!  The Clothes!! Go to Google and type “clothing exchange after divorce”.  You’ll find a number of frustrated parents (both men and women) who haven’t been able to constructively solve this little issue. I’ll admit it.  I’m one of them.  It’s one of those nitpicky things that for way too long, I haven’t quite been Read More

Do My Children Need Therapy? A Divorced Mother's Worries

Do My Children Need Therapy? A Divorced Mother’s Worries

Do my children need therapy? I have to admit, this is something I’ve struggled with.  I’ve had extensive therapy since leaving their father – and it’s helped me a great deal.  I’ve been able to reflect on why I married their father, why I stayed married for almost ten years despite a broken relationship.  Why Read More

Allowance

Allowance: How To Teach Your Children To Save Their Money

Given the issues in my first marriage with money (and my ex’s continuing issues managing his), I’ve been trying teach my children how to manage money with an allowance. We’ve come across some obstacles. The children seem to think that a “bank card” means an endless stream of magically replenishing money. They don’t equate it with Read More

Is it a Promise I Can Keep? - #NaBloPoMo 1

Is it a Promise I Can Keep? 

Terror strikes. Again. And again. NYC, Beirut, Paris, Nigeria. The list grows. My children ask – why?  I don’t know what to tell them. “We’re safe.  You’re safe.” I don’t know if it’s a promise I can keep. But I have to try. This is my eighteenth entry to NaBloPoMo, NaNoPoblano and YeahWriteMe’s NoMo challenge. Follow Live by Surprise on Twitter, Google+, Facebook, Pinterest and Bloglovin.

Shared Custody, Pennies And How I Get The Most Out of Spending Time With My Kids

Shared Custody, Pennies And How I Get The Most Out of Spending Time With My Kids

When considering divorce, a major deciding factor is sometimes the amount of time that you get to spend with your children.  After all, you only have approximately eighteen years together (more or less) – and after divorce, you might suddenly find that you’ve reduced your time by half (depending on your custody agreement).  In my Read More

Allowance:  How to Teach Your Children to Save Not Spend

Allowance: How to Teach Your Children to Save Not Spend

Given the issues in my first marriage with money (and my ex’s continuing issues managing his), I’ve been trying teach my children how to manage money with an allowance. We’ve come across some obstacles. Hubs and I have struggled with getting the children to understand that a bank card isn’t a source of a magical Read More

The Grandmother Diaries:  My Kids Are My Life

The Grandmother Diaries: My Kids Are My Life

“I have been reading my 1985-86 journals. It seems all I do is worry about Auntie and the children. I’ve got to stop and start thinking about me.  They have a life of their own and it doesn’t include me.  Once in a while they think about me.  I’m sure I did the same with Read More