Why I Should Have Waited to Marry

Should I Have Waited to Marry?

Marriage advice will usually tell you that “marriage is hard work”—and with my first marriage, I certainly found that to be true.  Keeping up with my husband’s demands were exhausting. Trying to be the wife he felt I should be was a lot of work, and I’m sure that he found I was similarly demanding. Read More

Since My Divorce: Learning and Growing

Since My Divorce: Learning and Growing

Divorce is a life changing event. It’s also an opportunity: to learn more about yourself and grow into the person you were meant to be. My divorce and my post-divorce situation have been one of the most difficult trials I’ve had to go through. But I like to feel that I’ve taken the pieces of Read More

Bringing Your Emotional Baggage into Your Next Relationship After Divorce 1

Unbacking Baggage Before a New Marriage

When I first remarried, a co-worker of myself and my husband remarked, “your husband must be very patient if he’s willing to take on you and your children.” I found the comment incredibly insulting. Granted, I was a bit of a wreck after my divorce and the car accident but my husband and I have Read More

Riding the Rollercoaster - Co-Parenting with Disneyland Dad 1

Coparenting with Disneyland Dad

I know I’m not the only one who feels like I’m failing in the popular parent contest.  My ex constantly takes the kids to theme parks, buys them cool toys, and in general, lines himself up for parent of the year by bribing the judges.  Do you ever feel like you’re co-parenting with Disneyland Dad? Read More

Not all wounds are visible: Insights into marriage with a narcissist 1

Moving Past Narcissistic Abuse and PTSD

“When you leave, he’ll invent stories about you.”  The narcissist in my life started inventing those stories long before I left.  He couldn’t take the blame for anything, so logically, everything was my fault. As much as I like to think that I’m out from underneath the abuse, I still feel it. One Christmas I Read More

The Divorce Whisperer: Have You Become 'That' Girl?

The Divorce Whisperer: Have You Become ‘That’ Girl?

Have you become a divorce mentor?  Not an official one, with a shingle.  I mean unintentionally – did you become someone that it seems that everyone who is contemplating/going through a divorce feels the need to speak to?  Sort of like the Divorce Yoda…”The divorce is strong with this one“.   Or the Divorce Whisperer. Read More

Follow Your Own Path 1

What I’ve Learned: Follow Your Own Path

Deep breath time. I’ve just packed the kids off to school and back to their father’s for a few days. This blog is supposed to be about helping me to work through my issues and to give you some inspiration to keep positive about life. I strive very hard to do that – not only Read More

Coparenting: Splitting Expenses without Losing Your Mind

Coparenting: Splitting Expenses without Losing Your Mind

When our divorce decree allowed for splitting expenses for our children in half, I thought it would be easy. All things being equal, with two kids, half means I pay for one kid and he pays for the other, right? So mid-January I received notification that it was time for our biannual payment for “pizza Read More

I Am NOT a Survivor 2

I Am NOT a Survivor

I am not a survivor. Not in the sense that I’m not still among the living.  I just hate that word. Survivor.   Sounds like I was up against something completely insurmountable that most people never make it through. That I’ve been victimized. I am not a victim. The word “survivor” also comes with an implication Read More