Lessons Learned: How Divorce Changed Me

You may recall earlier this month I did a blog review on some of my new favourite Mommy Bloggers.  If you missed it, look here:  Blogger Reviews Part Deux – Mommy Bloggers!   Jessica Terry from 4 the Love of Mommy has graciously agreed to write a guest post.

I am sure that if I look back at my first marriage that the warning signs were probably there. Before the kids came, before we ever walked down the aisle, I am sure if I looked hard enough, they were there.

From the fighting, over the little stupid things at the beginning, to breaking up twice.  I should have known better, and what I mean is, I watched my parents head down the road to divorce, so I should have seen the signs.  I probably did, but as they say, love is blind.

I stayed in my first marriage about six years too long.  I stayed for the kids’ sake. I will tell you all, this is a huge mistake—staying for the kids’ sake is never a good enough reason to stay in a marriage that isn’t working.  Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try all that you can to make it work because I really do believe that marriage takes work, I am just saying if that is the only reason you are staying, don’t.  Overall, I think staying was worse for my kids.  The fighting, yelling and the fact that I could no longer hide the fact that I didn’t love their father anymore was way worse than leaving him.

One of the good things about divorce (yes, I did say good things) is the fact that now that I am remarried I know exactly what I expect out of my marriage this time. I know how I wish to be treated, how I want to communicate and exactly what I expect for this marriage to work.  All of the bad things I hated in my previous marriage will not happen again.  I believe that my divorce really did give me the tools I will need to make my new marriage work.

I have to say that my divorce really did change me for the better.  After everything is said and done, I am a better, stronger woman.  I am a better wife, lover and friend and best of all, because I am happy with my life, I am truly a better mom.  I am able to be a better mom because I am no longer unhappy and depressed.  I am able to focus on my kids and less on how bad my marriage is. I feel like an equal in my marriage now. Of all the lessons I learned from my divorce, I think the most important one was self-worth.  I realized that I was worth more, that I deserved more.  I am glad that I was able to learn this and I can most definitely pass this on to my kids and what I will tell them is, don’t ever let the person you give your heart to decide what you are worth, you are the only one that can determine that.

To read more about Jessica, check out her blog 4 The Love of Mommy, or link up with her on Facebook or Twitter.


  1. I agree to live a happy life, first one need to understand their needs and requirements. A self-satisfied person is happier than other.

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