You may recall earlier this month I did a blog review on some of my new favourite Mommy Bloggers. If you missed it, look here: Blogger Reviews Part Deux – Mommy Bloggers! Jessica Terry from 4 the Love of Mommy has graciously agreed to write a guest post.
I am sure that if I look back at my first marriage that the warning signs were probably there. Before the kids came, before we ever walked down the aisle, I am sure if I looked hard enough, they were there.
From the fighting, over the little stupid things at the beginning, to breaking up twice. I should have known better, and what I mean is, I watched my parents head down the road to divorce, so I should have seen the signs. I probably did, but as they say, love is blind.
I stayed in my first marriage about six years too long. I stayed for the kids’ sake. I will tell you all, this is a huge mistake—staying for the kids’ sake is never a good enough reason to stay in a marriage that isn’t working. Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try all that you can to make it work because I really do believe that marriage takes work, I am just saying if that is the only reason you are staying, don’t. Overall, I think staying was worse for my kids. The fighting, yelling and the fact that I could no longer hide the fact that I didn’t love their father anymore was way worse than leaving him.
One of the good things about divorce (yes, I did say good things) is the fact that now that I am remarried I know exactly what I expect out of my marriage this time. I know how I wish to be treated, how I want to communicate and exactly what I expect for this marriage to work. All of the bad things I hated in my previous marriage will not happen again. I believe that my divorce really did give me the tools I will need to make my new marriage work.
I have to say that my divorce really did change me for the better. After everything is said and done, I am a better, stronger woman. I am a better wife, lover and friend and best of all, because I am happy with my life, I am truly a better mom. I am able to be a better mom because I am no longer unhappy and depressed. I am able to focus on my kids and less on how bad my marriage is. I feel like an equal in my marriage now. Of all the lessons I learned from my divorce, I think the most important one was self-worth. I realized that I was worth more, that I deserved more. I am glad that I was able to learn this and I can most definitely pass this on to my kids and what I will tell them is, don’t ever let the person you give your heart to decide what you are worth, you are the only one that can determine that.