My Life Needs a Laugh Track

Okay…okay.  I know that I said I’d always be open and tell my kids the truth when it came to sex and their questions.

But kids sometimes ask questions that you don’t expect – right?  

My niece was up this week (my sister lives out of state and she comes for a week or two in the summer).  We were eating watermelon and she said – I used to think that a watermelon would grow in my stomach if I ate the seeds.

That was me.  I told her that.  When she was about four, I may have even pointed at a pregnant woman and told her that’s what happened.

It’s OK – she never ate the seeds.  So she didn’t sit up nights wondering if she was growing a watermelon.  I swear.  

OK.  Not my finest moment.

Regardless…sometimes we just do that.  As aunts.  As mothers.  We may fudge the truth to amuse ourselves.  

As I also did this week with Flower.

OK – this part is going to get slightly graphic.  I’m going to give you the chance to turn off.

Still with me?


Are you sure?

Here it goes.  So Flower and I were in the mall and I had to (just had to) go to the bathroom.  As Flower is only six – I don’t like to leave her outside the stall if it’s really busy (and this was the downtown mall, not the nice burb mall we usually go to).  So I made her come in with me.  Of course…I was on my period and instead of just jabbering away and looking elsewhere – Flower happened to see that there was red in the toilet.  She didn’t ask about it – she just said – Oh mommy, your pee is red.

We were in a mall bathroom mind you.  A not very nice mall bathroom either.

So I just said, Well look at that, yes it is.  OK.  Let’s go wash our hands.

And it worked.  She let it go.  That was about a month ago.

Until last night.  She came into the bathroom as I was on the toilet.  (I don’t know why I can’t go alone. It would be nice to go alone for once.)

Mommy – remember that time when your pee was red?  How did you do that mommy?

Really?  Can you get a better opener?

I couldn’t resist.  She didn’t ask why it was red.  She asked how.

So…I told her that red was my favourite colour that week.  I like purple sometimes, and green.  There was that one week I did blue.  But it was red that week.

Her eyes got pretty big.  Really?  How did you do that?  

Why – can’t you do it?  I do it all the time.

So of course, she’s trying to get me off the toilet to see what my favourite colour is this week.

I think it’s just yellow this time.  Sorry – it’s been a long day.  I was too tired to think about it.

And of course, we’d been to the beach that day.  And I hadn’t changed since I got home.  So as I get off the toilet, in addition to the yellow – there is sand on the bottom.

Oh my mommy.  I guess you weren’t that tired.  Look – sparkles!!

Want Live By Surprise in your inbox?  Click here to join our mailing list or follow Live by Surprise on Twitter, Google+, Facebook, InstagramPinterest and Bloglovin for the latest updates!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *