I struggle the most with the dreams.

Nightmares.

It’s always the same.

I’m still married to him.

We’re in the house.

I can’t leave.

I can’t get out.

I’m suffocating, struggling for breath, clawing to get out, break the chains, see the sun, escape the darkness.

But I can’t.  I’m stuck.  In the house.  In the marriage.  In that life.

I keep hoping that they’ll end.  That my nightmare will end.  

I wake up to a new life.  With a new husband and a new child.  

But the nightmares remain.  I am stuck.  He won’t be out of my life.  The contact is minimized in every way I can make it so – but I’m still stuck.  Often still suffocating.  Struggling for breath.  The waking nightmare persists.

But my children give me breath.  New life.  I can breathe for them.  I will breathe for them.  Break the chains.  

Image Credit: (Edited) adamr / freedigitalphotos.net

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