The 11th Commandment of Blogging is “Thou shall not read the comments.” For the most part, the people who visit your own blog, and keep coming back for more, well, they’re your peeps. I’m clearly not talking about them. But when you post on a big sites like ScaryMommy, HuffPost or YourTango, you can bet your petoot that the trolls are going to be furiously typing beneath their bridges. And what they say isn’t always going to be favorable.
I admit – I usually do check up on the comments to see how well (or badly) one of my posts was received. Usually though, I don’t respond. Occasionally there’s one that’s aimed a little below the belt, but for the most part, I’ve been able to laugh them off. I’ve found though that there are generally about eight different kinds of commenters – and I’ve added what I would respond (if I did):
– I can’t believe you posted that. I’m so offended. You should be arrested and your parenting license should be revoked.
Well Sanctimommy, you can either pull the pickle out of your ass and realize this is humor or head over to Martha Stewart to be with your Stepford friends.
Dr. Spock (The Logical Mommy)
– What you have written is something I’ve never experienced…so I don’t believe it happened to you.
Am I exaggerating? Maybe a bit Spock – that’s what story telling is all about. However, if you think that only things that happen to you can happen to other people, you might want to crawl out of your cave once in a while to see if maybe you’ll see your shadow at some point.
– I love all of your posts – that’s just so funny!
Why thank you. You’re absolutely right. I’m hilarious!
The Lost Boy
– This post is about a single mom, but I’m a single dad, and this single mom site never posts about single dads and I am disenfranchised and under-represented. Instead of writing my own post, I’m just going to complain to you about it.
Have you seen this post about single dads at The Bloggess’ site? I think it would really interest you.
The Witch Doctor
– Doctor Hoodoo saved my marriage with his special chicken egg cure – and he can save yours too! Just send an email to him Doctor.Hoodoo@thisistotallylegit.com.
Should I put my credit card and social security numbers right in the email?
– I used to love this site for its witty, literate, thought provoking posts. Now it’s filled with coffee fuelled moms in yoga pants who have daddy issues.
Ummm…yeah?? So a) why are you still reading and b) just to be completely clear, I drink tea, not coffee.
– I am a (self-proclaimed) expert because my wife’s cousin works in a job that borders on the topic you’ve discussed. You’re completely off base for reasons I can’t actually articulate.
Well good for you then. I’ll tell you right where you can stuff your “expert” testimony or advice.
What’s your experience? Do you read the comments? Have I missed anyone?
This is my nineteenth post for #NaBloPoMo, #NaNoPoblano and the YeahWriteMe NoMo Challenge! Just over ten days left of a post a day!
Image Credit: imagerymajestic / freedigitalphotos.net