A Delicate Situation: How Do You Tell a Friend They're in a Relationship with a Jerk 1

My girlfriend is in an abusive relationship.  I’ve tried talking to her.  Admittedly, I haven’t been very supportive.  I’ve seen evidence of the abuse she takes from him.  There are photographs of her bruised and scratched face after a particularly difficult day with him.  But she won’t seek help.  She insists everything is fine.  That his behavior is normal.  That it’s her fault, not his.  It’s in his nature.

Read more about my problem on Sammiches and Psych Meds today.  Maybe you can give me some advice?


Image Credit (edited) (c) Can Stock Photo

Follow Live by Surprise on TwitterGoogle+FacebookPinterest and Bloglovin


  1. 🙁 I so relate to this…but she won’t leave or can’t leave until she’s ready… :(. Hang in there…I hope you can be there for her as best as you’re able…one day she’ll be ready, just not any day before…

  2. My advice would be to subtly introduce her to the many brilliant videos on YouTube, which are made by survivors of narcissistic abuse. A good youtuber to start with would be Spartan Life Coach. He tells it like it is, but in a way that puts the viewers at ease. He has a degree in psychology, so he is credible and his area of expertise is helping people overcome trauma. Your friend might not listen to your advice, because she may feel that you’re too close to home. She may respond better to hearing her situation being described by a complete stranger. Good luck, and I hope your friend gets out of this horrible relationship soon. Keep us posted.

  3. Oh dear! This sounds too much like some of the stories I know of. How does one act in situations like this? Going to read your post to find out.

  4. what a hard conversation to have with anyone, while it may need to be done is it really anyone business or should we just tell them and let the feathers fly and land where they do

  5. A great book about this exact situation is How to avoid falling in love with a jerk. It’s shows you ways to identify jerks and why people fall for jerks. It will help you understand what she is going through and ways to help her see that she is in an unhealthy situation and how to get out of it. I have used it plenty of times to help my friends. Hope that helps!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *