Parenting is Gross...and Other Things They Don't Tell You in Mommy School

I’ve been punched, kicked, spit at, kept awake for days, and had the body fluids deposited all over my body. That’s motherhood.

Being a mother his hard work.  They burst out of your body in one of the most painful ways possible, and then use their huge baby blues to hook you into keeping them alive while they deprive you of sleep, depend on you for food, require you to clean up after them, and generally hang on you 24-7.  It’s the fluids though that get me the most.  I don’t like them on me, but I don’t like when they’re keeping my children up either.  I understand there’s a device out there that you can use to actually suck (with your mouth) the snot out of your kids nose.  But I’m sure it’s just a gag gift (emphasis on GAG) because gross.  I’m on MockMom today – check it out.

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  1. Yeah, kids are totally gross. One night I kissed my son goodnight and I smelled rotten shrimp. When I started sniffing him all over, I realized it was coming out of his ear. At the doctor the next day, they used a hooky thing and pulled some massive “thing” out of there. Twas nasty. We still talk about the time he had Shrimp Ear. I still like him.

    Pets are nasty too. We had a dog that, when he threw up, it was the nastiest smell I have ever encountered. I used to tell everyone nothing could smell as bad as that dog’s vomit. Until he ate poop one day and then threw that up.

  2. Parenting is gross, and so is caring for pets. Unfortunately you love them enough that it makes you crazy. How do i know parents are crazy? We stick our hands out and tell them to spit it out, and they deposit something disgusting in our hands, and we thank them!

    1. Author

      Don’t get me started on pets. We had a shepherd/rottweiler cross who liked eating dead things. Yuck.

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