Bringing Your Emotional Baggage into Your Next Relationship After Divorce 1

When I first remarried, a co-worker of myself and my husband remarked, “your husband must be very patient if he’s willing to take on you and your children.” I found the comment incredibly insulting. Granted, I was a bit of a wreck after my divorce and the car accident but my husband and I have always felt very lucky to have found each other. He’s never found me and my children to be a burden and took us on willingly.

Even my uncle, a staunch Christian asked what I was teaching my children by moving in with a man without the benefit of a marriage certificate. I replied that I was teaching them that life doesn’t just stop because you’re getting a divorce. You have to keep moving. My marriage to their father was over long before the paperwork was filed. And more significantly, I was teaching them that their mother was not only worthy of being loved but also deserving of respect—much more than I had ever taught them while married to their father.

[tweetthis] I was teaching my children that their mother was worthy of being loved and respected.[/tweetthis]

When you start a new relationship, it’s really important to start off on a steady footing. If you’ve got baggage (emotional or otherwise), it’s important to unpack it and lay it bare. That way each of you can assess the viability of a relationship and whether there’s a future there or not.

I do acknowledge that in marrying me, my husband took on a lot of baggage. But we both gained so much from our marriage. Read more about my experiences with baggage as I prepared to remarry at

Do friends and family make you feel like you have less to offer a potential new mate? How do you unpack all of that baggage?

This post originally appeared on Live By Surprise in February 2014. It has been updated.5


  1. Well, the baggage is still being unpacked and will continue to do so. 😛 I wrote a post last week on similar topic. We’re thinking alike, Liv. Nice post!

  2. It is completely your decision. Lead your life. No one can tell which is right for you and what’s not. So do what feels right to live a happy life, Stay blessed.

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