Getting Your "Sexy" Back after Divorce

My confidence was in the toilet when I divorced. I’d barely dipped my feet into the water before I married my first husband, and after ten years, I was suddenly cast back into the dating pool. The first year was difficult. I was pregnant for the first three months, and breastfeeding for the next year. I was nowhere ready to jump in because I was afraid I’d be over my head.

But that’s the thing about divorce. You’ve got two choices: you can crawl back into your shell and become bitter and hardened, or you can open yourself up to new experiences. And while I was in that shell while I was married to my ex, once I was out, I was ready to cast it aside.

[tweetthis]You’ve got 2 choices: crawl into a bitter shell, or open yourself up to new experiences. #divorce[/tweetthis]

Getting Ready for Dating after Divorce

It took the better part of a year to even think about dating again. And even after that, I was very cautious, sticking mostly to “safe” men that I’d known before my divorce. After two children, I had very little body confidence. I’d always felt awkward around the opposite sex, and it hadn’t changed since high school. I was really lucky to have a few friends who slowly eased me back into the dating pool. But once I got in, I was able to start sampling and finding out what exactly it was I was looking for. In a way that I never had before I’d been married.

It was really exactly what I needed. As I told my friend Mandy at Since my Divorce:

And all of that experience was preparing me to meet my future husband. And I can certainly tell you (from experience) that it is possible to get your sexy back. Once you’ve licked your wounds and made your choice to move on (and up), your divorce does not have to define who you are. You do. (And you can read more about how I did it at


  1. I agree. Life is tough and you have two choices, it is better to embrace the new opportunities rather than living in disgust.

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