I'm Pivoting on a Rubber Band: I'm Afraid to Snap Back

I’ve read so many amazing things this year about writers who have been able to pivot successfully from another career into the one that they love. And I had the opportunity to do it myself through a stroke of luck. I jumped out of my well-paying job that was I was really good at. But that was not satisfying me. Or my soul. And I pushed myself into the pivot. Things were finally happening and I was moving.

But now that I’m almost on the other side, I’m finding that my pivot feels more like a rubber band. And I’m snapping back. Back into that job that I did really well—but that I hated. It’s been a week. A heck of a week. When I found out that I had to go back in, I was just…disheartened. Lethargic. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to jump back into a job when I had absolutely no enthusiasm.

And then sucked in my breath and I dove back in. And you know what? I could do it. I COULD jump right back in. Because even if I don’t have the heart at it, I’m damn good at it. Ten times better than anyone else there. Because I have an understanding of the underpinnings of the job better than anyone else does. But for that reason, I also know how ridiculous it is. I’m beyond the petty games that are played. Even if I’m good at them. I don’t want to play them anymore.

Yes, I know, having a high paying job doesn’t seem like the worst thing on the planet. Even if it’s a soul-sucking job. And it’s not I guess. And yet…here I am.

So for me, it only strengthens my resolve. I will get out. Because I’m just done.


  1. I hope that you do and wherever you go brings joy. You are amazing and I am always thankful for how supportive you are.

  2. It’s something that I’ve been thinking about lately. Pivoting back into a paying job somewhere. But I also have other obligations (caring for my 98-year-old mother) that make that choice not possible at this time. So I keep plugging away.

    1. Author

      It’s a weird spot to be in. But since I wrote my post, I was able to fully complete the pivot – I’m now fully into being at home and not looking back. But we each have to do what works best for us. (And I hope your mother is well.)

  3. I have every faith in you. Maybe this is another period of strengthening your resolve, making things possible, and networking in the meantime. Hope it goes as well as it can do xo

  4. For me, this pivot, like every other part of life, was not the straight line that I wanted it to be. Feels like “the ins and outs of complicated squiggles and how to navigate them” would be a more valuable high school class than geometry.

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