Ask Away Friday With Jenessa

So last week was my very first #AAF Ask Away Friday.  I swapped questions with April from the 100 lb Countdown.  And truthfully…I was going to take a break for a month or so.  But while I was hopping through the #AAF blogs, I came across the lovely Jenessa Mullen from Mothering {In Real Life}.  Like me, Jenssa was also an #AAF virgin until last week.  And so we came together and this was the result.

But before I start – a recap on Ask Away Friday:

#AskAwayFriday was created by the amazing Penny from Real Housewife of Caroline County as a way to connect with other bloggers.  The format is a a great Q & A session between two blogs – 10 questions and 10 answers!  It’s a great opportunity to get familiar with other blogs (and bloggers), as well as to promote your own blog.  And the added bonus is you can make new friends!

NEWAskAwayFridayHost550

Tamara from Tamara Like Camera,
Tiffany from Mrs. Tee Love Life Laughter,
Christy from Uplifting Families,
Stacey from This Momma’s Ramblings

and

Amber from Bold Fit Mom

And our co-host:  Carol from Battered Hope!

Askaway-Carol-BatteredHopeA little more about Jenessa:  she’s been laid up with a sprained ankle for about a week now.  But it hasn’t prevented her from coming up with some Pinterest worthy ideas – even though she’s had to cancel her camping trip.  She’s been blogging and writing privately for a number of years – but only in the past year or so has she come out to the public.

Jenessa and her husband Matt have three lovely children – the oldest is 14 and the youngest is two.  In addition to some amazing Pinterest projects with her kids, Jenessa blogs about motherhood, photography and she has some great tips about blogging.  She’s also very frank about her struggles with depression.  Go over to her blog and have a look!

Jenessa has come up with some fantastic questions for me – and you can check out Jenessa’s answers to my questions too!

I see you love the book Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. It is a favourite in our house, too. What other books do you enjoy reading to your children?

We’re all over the place with books at my house.  We’ve read Alice in Wonderland, we’re on the third Harry Potter book book, my son’s majorly into Captain Underpants and the Magic Tree House Series.

My daughter hasn’t found a favourite yet – but we’re reading No Flying in the House
by Betty Brock.  I think she likes it because the girl in the book can kiss her elbow – and that’s how she knows she’s a fairy.  Flower is double jointed – and can kiss her elbow.

No Flying in the House by Betty Brock

We’ve also read the entire Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle series by Betty MacDonald.  Each chapter is a story on it’s own – and it’s a great series to teach your kids some life lessons and manners.  And, to be completely honest – the “lessons” are so out there and hilarious, they’re fun to read as a parent too.  It was one of my favourites as a child.

Mrs. Piggle Wiggle by Betty MacDonald

But I don’t stick simply with child fiction.  We recently completed F. Scott Fitzgerald’s short story, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  (And no, we haven’t watched the movie together yet.  But hey…here’s Brad Pitt!)

You’ll never find us too far from a book in our house.  And now that Puck’s reading is really taking off, I expect he’ll start reading to his younger siblings too.

I love that you talk openly and honestly about your life and cover a range of serious subjects. Are there any topics you don’t feel comfortable talking about on the Internet?

There have been a few times that I’ve hesitated bringing up a particular topic because the thought is just so private, I wouldn’t even tell my husband.  That’s basically the filter I use.  If I think it might embarrass or shock my husband, I won’t publish it.

You say you are not a “cryer”.  Is there anything that makes you break down and have a good cry?

When I was with the Goblin King, I did it regularly.  There were days that I’d sit in the back of the closet with the doors closed, lights off, sobbing quietly.  I don’t need to do that any more.

After the car accident when I was experiencing some issues with PTSD, I would have nightmares and wake up sobbing.  Hubs was fantastic.  He somehow always knew, no matter how quiet I was and would just wrap his big arms around me until it stopped.

The last time I did it was the day Bae was born.  I was shocked by how much hair he had.  And the smile on his dad’s face was priceless.  I was just so happy, I couldn’t stop the tears.

Many women are in a situation similar to your first marriage. What advice would you give them? 

Oh, I wish it wasn’t “many” women.  I’m very careful with advice.  I try not to give it if I don’t think it will be accepted unless I really feel the need to.  I’ve said before – you can’t tell a woman that her husband is an asshat when she’s got her rose coloured glasses on.  And there’s no way to make her take them off.

Once she’s realized the situation she’s in, I always advise to get out as safely and quietly as possible.  Don’t worry about the “things” and the money.  Worry about you and your kids.  As long as they’re safe, you have everything you need to start again.

What advice do you have for women that are beginning to date after divorce?

Take your time.  Let the wounds heal.  Don’t move too fast.  And then – like swimming – dip a few toes in.  Then wade in slowly.  As much fun as it seems it would be, don’t do a cannon ball on your first time out.

I respect the fact that you blog privately and do not share your names or pictures on line.  Can you see that changing at any time in the future?

The Goblin King would have to be completely out of the picture for that to happen.  And I must say – I don’t know if I’d “come out” or just start a new blog.

After my mother divorced, she offered me the opportunity to see her diaries.  I wasn’t interested.  What happened back then was between her and my father.  It had nothing to do with me.

With all of the feelings I’ve poured onto my site, I’d worry that the children would stumble across it if my name were attached.  There are some things about their father and I that they just don’t need to ever know.

But – that being said, I’m hoping to post some pics of my trip to Amsterdam next month.  Nothing with me in them, but perhaps a review of my trip.

Five Fun Facts:

1. Favourite Colour:  Green.  Because nature.  And Kermit.  It was the colour of my bridesmaids dresses in my first wedding.  And of my dress in my first second wedding.

2. Favourite Food:  Ohhh…it’s so hard to choose.  I’m really in to Mexican food right now, so I’ll say that.  It’s a “food”.

3. Favourite TV show:  Doctor Who
.  I’m counting the days to the next season (less than a month by the time I post this).

4. Favourite Movie:  Sliding Doors.  As much as I wouldn’t change my past, I see where my own sliding doors have been – the ones that led me to where I am now.

5. Favourite Midnight Snack:  I love to have a large glass of very cold milk, a refrigerated Mars Bar and a fresh, unopened bag of Doritos at…specific times of the month.

If you could choose one quote to describe your life, what would it be?

Why of course – “Live life by surprise!”  There’s always something different around the corner.  It can be good – and sometimes it’s bad.  If you’re prepared to deal with either, no matter what the consequences, you’re on the right road and will always reach your destination.  It may not be where you expected to end up – but it’s where you need to be.

Image Credit:  (Edited) konasky / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

What is something you have learned about yourself this year?

I can blog.  I knew I could write.  And I knew that I could connect with people.  I just didn’t know how many people until I started blogging.

Describe your perfect summer vacation.

I’m living it right now.  I have the whole summer off.  But for the fact that I have to pass the kids back and forth with the Goblin King – there are about five weeks of extended time when not only do I have all three of my kids together – I have limited contact with the Goblin King (which is the perfect bonus).

We’re going to the beach, heading off to the park, eating hot dogs and chips and fruit at picnic lunches, amusement and water parks, long bike rides, beaches – every day is a new adventure.  The only thing that could make it better is if hubs had the whole summer off too.

And that’s it for my #AAF post this week.  Did you learn more about me?  Thinking about joining #AAF yourself?  Check out the Facebook page and the other #AAF posts by going to the host websites above!  It’s a lot of fun and you get to meet some fantastic bloggers.

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