I’m fresh back from Mom 2.0 in Orlando, Florida and whilst there, I made sure to take advantage of every amenity possible. I peed alone. I slept without interruption. I ate, not just one, but several entire meals while still hot.
AND, because I was on a roll, I went to Universal Studios ALONE. And whilst there, I discovered ten amazing reasons that you too should scive off to a theme park WITHOUT KIDS!
Nobody will ask you to go to the washroom. You can go whenever and where ever you feel like it, all by yourself. That’s right – no one will be in the stall staring at you, making embarrassing comments about your gas or smells, or touching ALL THE GERMY THINGS so you feel like you need to hose them down on the way out.
You don’t need ANY extra gear. That’s right. You can walk in with literally just your wallet and a pair of sunglasses. No diaper bag. No stroller. No extra clothes in case someone gets wet. Although, if it’s a warm day, I’d suggest some sunscreen. Don’t get too crazy, mamma.
You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. Want donuts at 9 AM? There’s no one there to make you feel guilty or unhealthy. Haven’t had a root beer float in years? Stop at Mel’s Drive-In. I highly recommend it. Not only that, you don’t have to share!
Single riders do it quicker. Imma get that one printed on a t-shirt. When you’re all alone, you can jump ahead of all those suckers with families and get on the ride with complete strangers. You don’t have to hold anyone’s hand and no one is going to roll their eyes and say, “Mom…you’re so embarrassing!”
You don’t have to do any of the kiddie rides. Not one. (Unless you want to. Because some of the kids rides at Universal are freaking awesome. Just sayin’.)
There’s no jockeying or trading on the good rides. Normally, you and your husband trade on the good rides. One stays and waits or goes on the kiddie rides with the younger child, while the other goes on the totally awesome rides like Kong Skull Island with your other kids. And let’s be honest, waiting in the child swap room just sucks. Your youngest gets bored and your oldest is a chicken by nature so doesn’t even want to go again, so by the time it’s your turn, you just want to get out and move on. If you go on your own, ALL. THE. GOOD. RIDES. ALL. DAY.
You won’t hit the “naptime” wall, so you can stay until the park closes. When you go with the kids, everyone shuts down around three o’clock. The kids too. So you need to go back to the hotel and recoup enough to head back the next day. But if you’re on your own, you can spend some time relaxing at Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville before heading back through again.
Unless you’re seriously unlucky, you won’t get anyone else’s body fluids on you all day! (Seriously though, you might want to bring some adult diapers for the Hulk ride.)
They. Have. Alcohol. And because you have no kids and you took a shuttle, you don’t have to limit yourself. (Although, you’re more likely to need that drink if you go with the kids.)
And the best reason of all?
You don’t have to buy souvenirs. Seriously. Because the kids can never know that this happened.
Disclosure: I paid full price for my tickets. Nothing was free. So this is completely honest. (But I’m willing to go free next time if you’re listening Universal. I’m also willing to take my kids, because I missed them terribly.)
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