The Hollywood Coparent Continuum

Some days, I feel like there’s a divorce continuum – and I’m on the lower end of the spectrum.  On the high end?  Princess Goop and her ex and their conscious uncoupling.  As pretentious as the whole announcement was – I feel a minor jealousy pangs that people like Gwyneth and Chris Martin seem to have it so easy as far as this co-parenting gig goes.

Most days I feel like I’m only one peg up from Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that Denise is my spirit animal.  Every time I see them in the news, Captain Crazy has done something silly – and Denise is getting tired of his crap.  Very similar to my own relationship.  My ex wouldn’t cross the road to spit on me if I were on fire.  In fact, I’m reasonably certain he’d bring gasoline and marshmallows.

If I had my druthers, I’d like my co-parenting relationship to look more like:

  1. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe – the couple was married for seven years (and two kids) before they split in 2007. Ryan has publicly stated how proud he is of their coparenting relationship..
    Reese Witherspoon
  2. Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson had a son before they split in 2007.  Kate has suggested since the split that she’s looking forward to taking her son on tour with his dad at some date in the future.
    The Divorce Continuum
  3. Demi Moore and Bruce Willis – talk about super divorced couple.  The two were married for 13 years (3 daughters) before they parted ways in October 2000.  They’ve both said publicly that they try not to make their children choose – and have even spent the holidays together with their new spouses!Demi Moore and Bruce Willis

What about you?  If you had to compare your post-divorce relationship with a celebrity couple, who fits the picture best? Are you a Sheen/Richards or a Goop Couple?

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24 thoughts on “The Hollywood Coparent Continuum

  1. Ah- such Hollywood triumphs! I wish it were the same for you, but it sure seems like you manage it incredibly well my friend. *Gasoline and marshmallows* Oh my gosh, I don’t want to laugh because it’s awful, but your humor shines through, my dear!

  2. Gisela says:

    We are a Sheen/Richards Couple looking like the Goop couple to the outside world (which is almost worse in my opinion). I admire your perspective, humor and not getting swept up in the trenches and aspire to let the bullets roll of my back most days. My ex would poor on the gasoline and then cry big crocodile tears and wring his hands!

  3. Love your sense of humor and your penchant for being so timely with your topics! I could learn a lot from you!

    As far as your comparison, a girl can dream, can’t she? At least there you can imagine you’re Reese. 🙂

  4. Put this post in the land of fantasy camp for me LOL. I gurantee you my ex would bring marshmallows, hot dogs, gasoline, plenty of wood, uranium, plutonium, and possibly even a natural gas tap to put me out if I was on fire.

  5. Love the post, Liv!! Well…while I have they fantasy that we could coparent like the GOOP or the others listed, I have to be realistic and just embrace the SheenRichards situation…which today makes me laugh, because I have to! And on other days…well, you know. LOL.

  6. tamaralikecamera says:

    I’m not sure at all.. but I’d like to believe it would be on the peaceful side. I’ve had friends go through nasty divorces in which hate words were spoken. I couldn’t imagine. He’s the father of my children!

  7. I don’t think I know enough about divorced celebrity couples to be able to draw a comparison. I used to be lost in that world as a teen – all the glitz and glamour was very enthralling, but I decided one day that it was too much, and the comparisons were too sharp, so I just lived in the real world again for a bit.

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